Problem: I’ve participated within backchat in relation to working with another person, where I am not satisfied with the work/part this person is doing/is responsible for.
The backchat started specifically after presenting a point to another that requires change/adjustment. A mundane, repetitive adjustment. I wanted another to do this, while I could have, seeing another does not yet go into the level of specificity and detail, and within that responsibility for one’s work – I could have done this mundane/repetitive part of work/verification by myself so as to make sure the resulting work, which represents the group, is tip-top or at least, actually, conforms to the basic requirements of presenting this work to those that are going to use/utilize/rely on this work.
Another dimension of this point is that I haven’t taken proper time to explain, to this person, why it is what has to be done, what I want this person to do and why it is, from my perspective, responsibility of this person. When I noticed resistance/defensiveness within expressing my point to this being, in a millisecond I decided within myself that it is not worth trying to convince this person/put an effort into continuing this discussion, as it is going nowhere and I do not want to argue, backtrack, explain from beginning, show, walk with this person what I see needs to be done and how it needs to be done. Justified by that I’ve already invested much time into assisting this person, while this being should be self-sufficient and actually helpful within completing one’s responsibilities without others having to watch over one’s shoulder, assist, verify, correct.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to loose my patience while assisting another with the same or similar point over and over again, in order to align, guide, drive this point to/into a satisfactory result/completion that does not compromise me, another or everyone and anyone else involved as this work is finished with the necessary/required attention to detail, specificity and care.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to decide within myself to give up on another – and within that actually give up on myself – when I experience perceived difficulty within communicating, working, expressing with/towards another within and as points where one has to take responsibility and complete work that might be perceived as mundane, boring, repetitive, “too much”, where one believes one has better things to do than completing this particular specific work/task/assignment to it’s utmost perfection that is required for this effort to bear it’s fruit as being “good enough” for what it’s meant to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to fear continuing, pushing, assisting, expressing, talking and walking with another when I see resistance arising/manifesting itself within the words/gestures/body expression of another while communicating about a point of responsibility which one or the other has to take and direct in order to complete a particular task/assignment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to devise ways on how to do something differently, where I can circumvent another person, when I notice/see/observe/believe this person is creating more problems than actually assisting and supporting the particular assignment/task/responsibility – instead of directing and assisting this person in understanding what and how it has to be done in order to not compromise others or the completion of what it is required to be done.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing through this circumvention/avoidance of conflict/lossing patience with another actually support and defend the very same construct, within myself, of avoidance of doing something I do not want to do, I resist doing, I believe it’s not my responsibility to do, I want and demand others to do it instead of myself and when I actually, after all, “end up” doing this thing I resist doing, I participate within backchat on how unfair this is, how I do not like what I am doing, how it does not make sense, how inferior others are as it is become of them I have to do this thing that I resist.
UPDATE: Maya pointed out some hidden dishonesties within within my SF statements. Here are the points together with walking the correction:
Point 1
There is hidden judgement in this statement within the words: “same or similar point over and over again”.
So, I would look at where have you not been patient with yourself and whether or not, could you change something within your application, in how you explain the point so that it would be clear to the person. Meaning – if you explained something to someone, let say twice, and the person didn’t get it, see if you can change your approach in giving examples, or showing other options that would make the point clearer.
So, within this SF statement, you have not yet taken responsibility for your impatient but kind of justified it in a manipulative way.
My correction:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to go into frustration and blame another when/if I work with another on a similar or the same point repeatedly as another has not yet understood what I am trying to explain and it’s necessary to walk through this explanation for as long and as much detail/effort/me changing my explanation/presentation until mutual understanding is reached.
Point 2
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to decide within myself to give up on another – and within that actually give up on myself – when I experience perceived difficulty within communicating, working, expressing with/towards another within and as points where one has to take responsibility and complete work that might be perceived as mundane, boring, repetitive, “too much”, where one believes one has better things to do than completing this particular specific work/task/assignment to it’s utmost perfection that is required for this effort to bear it’s fruit as being “good enough” for what it’s meant to be.
There is a point of blame here towards the other where you explain why you THINK the person should take responsibility. So when turning a point back to self, you can look for example – where in your application, you abdicate your responsibilities and are now, projecting the same point you judge yourself for, onto another.
And also – a point that I’m walking for myself is to remind myself that, everyone are walking their process in their own pace and the level of responsibility that each one takes is a direct reflection of where they are in their process. However, if I have backchat towards others not equally participating in the responsibilities in seeing what needs to be done and walk it, it implies that I’m not walking unconditionally because if I had, I wouldn’t have back chat towards any one else.
I walked this point in my blogs:
http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/it-is-not-fair-day-37.html
http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/05/trying-to-avoid-my-responsibilities-day.html
http://mayaprocess.blogspot.com/2012/06/decision-of-time-day-67.html
My correction:
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to judge myself for not immediately taking responsibility for something I see I can assist with, resist doing it, stop myself from taking this point of self-responsibility and then judge/blame another for not taking this responsibility instead of me.



Ballet Director Is Victim of Acid Attack
Read the rest of the story at nytimes.com.
Commentary
What’s the problem here? Why does this happen in the world?
We’re educated into competition from a very young age. The word “sport” for most people means “competition”. Disabling somebody outside of the “game” is then a logical outflow, albeit extreme, of this increasing competition amongst people, whether it is within sport or business or both.
Who’s at fault here? It is not only the perpetrator of this crime. The system we accept and allow as our education, the money system, the games and sports we like to watch and support – this is where we all collectively create maniacs that, in order to succeed, will do anything to oneself or someone else.
What can we do about this? How can we stop such crimes from happening?
We need to change how we educate our children and the very system they will arrive into as they grow up. We need to change it into a system of collaboration and mutual self-support. We need to change it into a system where the word competition is no longer connected to, and/or the synonym to, sport or business.
How can envy exist if the entire concept of comparision of being better than or inferior to somebody within something is no longer fed into the minds of the people through media as senseless entertainment.
How can cheating exist if there is no need and no motivation to win in something or over somebody, when even the games we play are no longer about winning or loosing but avout the participation itself, where the fun is to actually play, and not at the end, where the means justify the ends.
How can crime exist when there is no more poverty or inequality as the very system is based on cooperation and mutual self-support taught as the basis of being human in schools and universities.
The basis for such a system of cooperation and support is the Equal Money System. Explore this proposal and support it if you can, as the world news are showing us that a change is in order. Together we have the means, so let’s do it!
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