Day 22: Reacting to Other People’s Actions

Today I walked around a group of people I live with and they were discussing something, in a serious manner. I decided not to ask what’s going on, to not wedge myself into the situation as I was not asked to join the conversation at that moment. While I walked by, these people were not talking. Within that moment I assumed that it was because of my temporary presence. Looking back at my decision not to ask others what’s going on, slowing down the timeline of what happened, I now see it this was not in fact my “decision” – it was an automated reaction to this temporary moment of silence which I interpreted as I am not being welcomed here – thus I should rather quickly move out of the way – which I did.

We have thus two components here that create the illusion of certain decision within oneself that is then later justified. Here in this case the justification is “I do not want to intrude / wedge myself within others space; or if I am not welcome/invited here I rather move away, even if my intention is to stay and/or learn more/investigate.”

That’s the justification. The above two components that result in the automatic preprogrammed behavior are:

  • Interpreting/misinterpreting the behavior of others within one’s mind.
  • Reacting to this interpretation/illusion within one’s mind.
How Reactions Towards Something/Someone Work

How Reactions Towards Something/Someone Work

This reaction manifest itself as taking certain feeling or emotional stance within oneself towards the situation or other people. Feeling or emotional stance means reacting either positively or negatively to what one is thinking about – in this situation the thoughts are those of interpreting and “understanding” what one sees with one’s own physical eyes in a certain way, where the interpretation of course does not have to at all be correct or on spot.

Thus such a reaction and the resulting behavior is unacceptable, self-compromising and prevents one from taking on the opportunity to expand oneself, clearly communicate with others and make sure to not leave anything within oneself to doubt or later/immediate misinterpretation.

Another component that I see playing within myself within this situation is that of fear. Where for example I want to ask others what’s going on here but in the moment of this idea/though/direction coming up within me I experience fear – which is again there for a reason, as an accumulation of certain behavior within and as myself from the past. The fear of other people thinking of me less, seeing me as someone that can not control one’s curiosity, that wants to put his fingers into somebody else’s pie and so on. So logically (or rather psychologically) – if I think that someone might think the above about myself – I must have first thought in such a way and judge other people in such a way before and at least to a certain degree, even if it’s one singular thought “here and there” – I still do.

This is then our fourth component already, discovered tracing the mind-physical timeline of thoughts/events and where do they come from and why they exist in the first place. This detective work is necessary if one wants to actually in fact change one’s behavior – as without understanding of how this behavior is being created and charged over time – the chances of one changing this behavior are next to nothing.

This point of judging others and labeling them as wanting to stick their fingers into my pie, wanting to know too much, being inquisitive about my “personal” matters is something I see I can effectively investigate and discharge utilizing self-forgiveness. Here it goes:

  1. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to label others as wanting to know too much of and from me, wanting to “stick their fingers into my pie”, crossing the “sacred” line I have defined for these other people which can not be crossed as it contains information that I do not want to share with anyone as I believe it would compromise my self interest for some reason or it would result in me having to give up something, whether material possession/think or a certain belief or a stance towards something or somebody.
  2. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to believe that another can hurt me through me being intimate and fully open with another person, sharing things about myself as they are and as they come up as relevant within the specific moment in time and space shared with another/others.
  3. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to believe that I posses a world of my own, whether material – as my own space and possession – or the mind world within and as myself – where I believe I have to protect these world and I can not let others in, see, investigate, ask questions, inquire, challenge me within any of these points as I have defined myself as these points and I do not want to change within these points, even to the smallest degree, as I fear/believe that I will loose an important part of myself if anything of these worlds of mine are change/challenged/given away/let go of/changed by the presence/actions of another.
  4. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to deliberately and within an emotional reaction distance myself and resist others, investigating, getting to know, understand, query others – as that would mean I would have to be open to the same “scrutiny” from others that I am accessing within others.
Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Mind Consciousness Systems, Process, Self-forgiveness, Sex & Relationships | Leave a comment

Day 21: Derailing Nature of the Mind

I’ve found a fascinating point within myself: a point of self-sabotage that emerges when everything is relatively stable, moving into the “right” direction, I am making progress both internally and externally and there is certain routine developed and I am moving like a train on the rails where I am satisfied with what I am doing and my direction. Yet even within that the mind as the mind consciousness system is not satisfied. There is something within me that is ready and able to pick up on the smallest point, the smallest internal reaction and make a huge issue out of it within and as myself. The pattern that I see emerging here is that the mind needs to be constantly occupied, churning on energies, whether positive or negative, and keep one busy with internal battles, problems and preoccupations.

The obvious point that comes forth as a solution to this problem of the derailing nature of the mind, is to stop oneself within every single emerging point of conflict, within every single, even the smallest reaction that one participates throughout the day. That is valid and useful “exercise” in itself, but I am interested in going deeper than that. What it is within me, why have I created myself and embedded within myself this derailing nature that is in fact who I am – as everything that emerges within me without my self-direction and a self-honest decision to do it in the first place – is my nature, is who I am, is with me as me all the time whether I am conscious or unconscious about it.

Being aware to a small degree about an aspect of myself – here in this specific case – this unconscious self-derailing nature/tendency: How do I reveal the components, the building blogs of this mind pattern that is integrated so deep within myself that I am not even aware of it throughout my day, yet I act within, through and as it? A cool tool to do this investigation of the acceptances and allowances one has created is self-forgiveness. Utilizing self-forgiveness I can start slowly chipping away and drilling into this mass within myself as this mind pattern/habit and get to the bottom of what it is that I have created as myself throughout my life and become fully aware of it, taking away the power of/from this pattern over me, as what I am fully aware of I can work with, direct, let go – transcend.sf-drill

Drilling into the Mind-Pattern Utilizing Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to create myself through observing my environment and interpreting my environment in a certain specific way into a nature where I believe I have to internally always be in a state of conflict, energetic upheaval where I either have to experience extreme positive or extreme negative energy/feelings/emotions and do this through interpreting the behavior of others where I noticed and believed another is in a state of extreme negative or extreme positive energy experience and where my environment is ever changing and in movement and flux and through these observations create myself as the image of my environment and the people within it – the image and likeness of a being/nature of having to constantly experience positive or negative energy experiences within myself – to fit in with my environment and the people within it – and within the absence of such experiences deliberately create them, based on the smallest and tiniest external or internal stimuli possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to consciously or unconsciously always seek conflict within or without that I can use as a stimuli within and as myself to create certain feeling or emotion, positive or negative energy; and within the absence of major events, problems, excitements and other “stimulating” situations within my life, I use the smallest and tiniest points as a starting point of conflict so that I can eventually get my energy fix which I believe I can not live without as I was used to live with a constant mind preoccupation and energy movement within and as my body throughout my life and define it as “normal” and “me”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to use other people within my reality as starting points / generators of conflict within and as myself, where if I observe something about the other that I believe I “do not like” or I believe is compromising for/towards myself or others, I use this a spring board into a reaction state where I create a belief about another and what he is doing charged with either a positive or negative energy and this thought and further thoughts towards this person and about this person keep me preoccupied within my mind so that I do not have to live here, breath by breath, taking on the physical living as it comes, without being “prepared” or in a certain comfortable/status quo “state” within and as my mind created through familiar mind patterns and/or energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to justify creating energetically charged reactions towards other people in my environment by telling myself within  my mind and believing that I am “looking at problems” and I am “protecting myself” from the other person that I decided that I do not “like” or I am afraid of this person’s actions towards me, in relation to me or towards other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to deny myself the opportunity to, when I am stable and my environment is “stable” and my direction is clear, to be empty, at peace, silent within and as my mind and let go of the pattern of creation of worries, anxieties, fears, reactions to the smallest and tiniest points/events I can find within my reality/environment/world.

Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Energy, Mind Consciousness Systems, Process, Self-forgiveness, Self-movement | Leave a comment

Day 20: Making Decisions Within a Group, Participating Amongst Many

In my previous posts I looked at the dimensions of personal direction and pushing myself to do things and what it means to me and how it plays out within my life currently. In this post I’ll look at my experiences and what I’ve learned and realized when it comes to participating within a group, amongst many people, within living, working and making decisions together.

Creating Beliefs About and Resistance Towards Others

One of the main points of conflict that I’ve found and experienced within myself in relation to others is when I believe or believed that the other has to approach a certain situation the same way I do, with the same amount of dedication, focus and care that I believe I would exert in the particular moment. When I would then observe that this is not the case and somebody “does not live up to my expectations” I would be disappointed “with this person” and I would blame this person for not being good enough, not living up to his/her potential, creating a barrier, a point of resistance and negative energetic charge within myself towards this person within and as my mind.

Such a belief of/towards another creates further distrust and later on is like a lens or filter – I would use to look at this person – that blurs the picture and prevents me to asses the current situation effectively and without the interference of the past.

I have found it to be essential to let go of such beliefs of/towards another – and any other beliefs for that matter. This creates space within me to approach each situation where I am in the presence of somebody else or I am working with someone on something – fresh and without preconceived ideas about this person. Because even a single negative thought I hold towards another can slip out in the “right” moment and compromise the present moment interaction I have with another and create all kinds of consequences stemming from me bringing baggage from the past into the present moment with another being.

Letting Go of Control Over Others

When I am participating within a group, that I am a part of, especially in the past, there was a strong desire to control the outcome of the group decisions. I’ve found that this desire for control (and power) comes from the fear of how various group decision will affect myself from the perspective of my self-interest. Another aspect of this “want to control and have power over others” is the belief that “I know better” and others are inferior compared to my intellect/abilities/experience and they should follow what I say/do.

Such beliefs again result in the creation of friction and resistance between me and others as the reality of the situation is such that I can’t control the outcomes of group decisions and where the group is going and there is always a certain level of uncertainty and having to be prepared for the unexpected.

What I have found to be an effective participation within a group environment is to always put myself in the shoes of others and when and as I see I can contribute something or share something, whether it is in terms of ideas or guidance or a solution to a particular situation/problem – I do it. The direction towards finding solutions together is what I always direct myself and others towards. Effective communication within a group is never personal, it is always about:

  1. What is the situation we’re dealing with here?
  2. What is the solution we can all agree on walking together?

Empowering Others

Living together with others people effectively means to me taking leadership and taking responsibility for the situations that arise when and as necessary as well as making sure others have the opportunity to take leadership and responsibility for particular points so that the “body” of the group is equally strong and well balanced. Empowering others means assisting others when I see the opportunity and the “door/opening” to do so, where I can share, show or teach another something I have previously learned about myself or how to do or approach something or someone effectively and within the principle of what is best for all.

Within the point of developing a group into a balanced being that can act as one, there is suddenly no need for control of one individual or a small group of “leaders”. As everyone within such a group is able to take responsibility and assume leadership when and as necessary and according to one’s specific skills and abilities and the situation at hand. Personal responsibility, shared education, leadership development and empowering others will be the keys for developing a new world worth living in, as these points, coupled with effective communication, prevent friction and conflict from arising and festering within our societies. Without friction and conflict between each other, humans will be able to, for the first time in history, move together as one to create, what I would call a real civilization, that is in fact civilized. That is something I am looking forward to.

Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Agreements, Money System, Process, Reality, World News Commentary | Leave a comment

Day 19: Being in the Zone and Snapping Out of it

In my previous post I talked about pushing myself within work and getting things done. In this one, I’ll focus on another important part of my day – the transitions between various activities that I engage myself within during the day and the dynamics and decisions involved within such changes.

Applying myself within intensity within what I do, working through my responsibilities and getting things done, I found it to be sometimes quite difficult to effectively relax when the time comes to do so. One aspect of this difficulty is that my mind can get quite busy while moving through all kinds of tasks, programming, designing, finding solutions to problems alone or with other people. Within that a certain inertia develops within and as me, which on one hand helps me to move forward, even look forward to another task/challenge and approach it with certain “hunger” and the desire to get it done. Many would call this being in the “zone”.

The Zone

I would define the “being in the zone” from a practical, useful perspective as fully becoming, being and dedicating myself to a specific application, for a moment, until it is done or until there is another reason to break or stop, whether it is someone else asking for help or anything else emerging that is, for the moment, more important to shift my attention to. I like and really enjoy it when there is time and space and the supportive environment to put such a full focus and put all of myself into the specific point I am working on. Within this I can dedicate myself fully to the process of creation and this aspect of creation, within what I do, I find very satisfied and fulfilling. At the moment I experience it most often when working: programming or designing (designing as of designing programs/systems or graphic design).

Back to the point of internal inertia and the experience of being in the “zone” that is developed within such a process of “creation”: I found it very important to be able to easily “snap out of” or more specifically change and align myself to a different level of activity, to a different dynamic of being here when and as necessary. Such a change needs to happen when and as I find I am physically too tired to continue and I see within myself that I now need to allow myself to relax and do something different. Or I need to do this change when something other emerges within my reality, like helping somebody with something upon being asked to do so.

Decision to Change

I found that it takes a specific internal decision to change from one moment of certain intense activity, where for example I am alone and busy with my “creation” and I need to stop and do something different, like for example exercise as I know the time for that activity has come and I have previously decided to dedicate that time to that specific activity. This decision has to do with being able to, internally and externally, stop the current activity within and without that I am busy with, let it go completely and as such become a blank canvas, metaphorically speaking, that can be painted again, with the brush and paint of the new activity that I am about to do.

In the past, when I was not yet fully aware and apt in applying and walking this decision to change in and within a moment, internally and externally, I would easily run into frustration, snappiness and irritation when and as I would be suddenly “disturbed” within what it is that I am doing and/or if I had to change what I am doing for whatever reason. Within that there is also the point of wanting and/or desiring to hold onto whatever it is that one is doing as it brings enjoyment and satisfaction – one is obviously prone to resist changing/stopping such a point, even if the change is valid and necessary within the moment in time.

If I ever experience irritation or frustration when someone enters my reality unexpectedly and/or needs something, I now know that I am not being fully here, within the moment of breath and I am denying myself the opportunity to change myself, within the moment, immediately and put my full focus and attention on whatever it is that emerged within my reality.

Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Process, Reality, Self-movement | 1 Comment

Day 18: When to Push and When to be Patient

In the next few posts I’ll be sharing my experience, realizations and what I have learned in relation to pushing myself forward within personal/internal points as well as directing other people, situations or events with intensity, for a moment, or treating the situation with patience and rather holding back for a bit. There is a cool interview in relation to this subject at EQAFE.

Intensity within my own process

First let me define the word “process” or “my own/personal/internal process”. This word represents the totality of who I am, what I am doing, what I am realizing about myself – through living my life, self-supportive writing, self-forgiveness, introspection and how I am practically changing who I am and what I stand for based on my understanding of myself and my world.

Within this point of my internal process I tend to push myself really hard, always pushing for the limits of what I can do and how much I can handle. I found this to be the only point/way in relation to who I want to be, where I can be satisfied with myself at the end of the day, as I know I have lived up to my potential. This experience of satisfaction is either there as a real physical point of seeing I have accumulated results through my actions throughout my day, or it’s not there and can not be manipulated or imagined into being if I asses my day self-honestly.

The practical physical results for me are for example:

  • Moving work/programming related projects forward.
  • Writing a public blog post here on my blog.
  • Participating with other people within work, discussion or play, when and as there is the time and opportunity to do so.
  • Teaching myself a new skill, realizing something about myself and my daily participation, releasing a thought pattern or energetic experience effectively through introspection, self-forgiveness, self-movement and self-commitment.
  • Teaching or showing or helping/assisting another with something.
  • Having a workout/exercise where I have spend and dedicated enough time to/with my body to give it sufficient movement and challenge so that it grows and develops effectively and supports me within the other activities, which for me involve a lot of sitting behind the computer.
  • Cooking/preparing an enjoyable meal for myself and/or my peers.

Pushing myself within these points means scheduling my day effectively and making all the necessary arrangements for myself and with others, so that I can take each responsibility, one at the time (if possible) and give my utmost focus and attention to that particular activity. I move fast when it comes to work, yet always checking and stopping myself if I notice I am rushing myself or try to do more than what is possible to be done in a moment of breath. Once a particular activity is finished, I take a short break, assess what is the next important task to take on and move on.

I enjoy this constant movement, the consistent focus and stay with it always aware of my breath so that I do not rush or overdo things. This crates a space within me, where if there is a lot on my plate throughout the day, I know I have planned things effectively and within that I can give myself fully to the present moment activity without being stressed or rushed by what will come next.

Obviously there are exceptions where within business/work unexpected situations arise and one has to stop what one is doing and give one’s full attention to the new unexpected problem and try to sort it out as soon as possible as it is important and takes precedence over what one is doing. However such points, even if they come up “often”, still do not represent or define how I decide to move myself within the majority of my time, so even if such unexpected events arise, I can take on them effectively and from the point of preparedness within and as myself.

In the next post I’ll look at the point of effective resting.

Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Energy, Mind Consciousness Systems, Process, Self-movement | 1 Comment

Day 17: When Not Writing

5.3-writingIn this post I am describing how I experienced myself and what were the consequences for me, when giving up on consistent public writing within self-awareness, sharing common sense observations of myself and my world on this blog.

The precursor to me stopping writing was a sudden increase within my workload. This happened relatively unexpectedly, where suddenly I saw that my To-do lists weren’t getting shorter each day, but the exact opposite – they started to grow with impressive speed. This had to do with me taking on, being responsible for and maintaining several independent programming projects – which is what I do – I am a programmer by profession.

What is valid within the point of suddenly having much more work to do than previously – is that one has to stop the “less important” activities, for a moment, and give the pressing responsibilities direction and appropriate time and space so that these tasks/points can move towards completion.

What is not valid is to use such a point of additional sudden responsibility increase to justify stopping self-writing as a point of self-support and unconditional sharing with others, altogether. This is because after a while, say a few weeks, I can self-honestly say to myself that I am now “comfortable” and “used to” my new increase in responsibility and now it’s time to again look at and reassess how to introduce the “non-life-critical” activities back to my day and my being here. As each of such activities – like self-writing for example – has it’s useful place within my life and is very much responsible for my personal growth and overall wellbeing.

This assessment or reassessment on how to introduce self-writing into my daily schedule is something I did not do, after I experienced the increase in my workload. I used these new demands on myself as justifications to not push myself anymore to write daily; or at least every other day, consistently. I gave into the slight, with time ever so growing, Resistance to Writing.

Where does this resistance to writing come from?

There is a point of effort involved within self-aware and self-supportive writing. Meaning I really have to push myself, at times, to “get it done” or to even start. Also the point of accessing various points deep inside myself, pulling them onto the light of the day – so to speak – is a process that requires focus and attention to detail.

This recognition of, and past moment memories of, this point of effort, can easily be turned by myself into a resistance to writing as a justification of why not to do it within a moment of opportunity, when some time presents itself and I self-honestly know I can dedicate some time and effort into a new blog post.

If I then participate and give into such resistance often and continuously a new pattern is build within me: Instead of consistent writing I am now consistently procrastinating.

What are the effects of not writing consistently or for a long period of time?

I’ve observed the following when procrastinating on public self-writing:

  • I would be prone to be pre-occupied with thought patterns. For example conflict with another over a specific point. Instead of writing the point out as a pattern of problem and solutions that would assist me and everyone else reading it, I would entertain myself with this pattern within my mind, never really arriving at a concrete and practical solution.
  • I would in fact miss the process of writing and the point of deep satisfaction of seeing a trail of consistency as self-writing.
  • There would be a build up of ideas within me, that I had no outlet of to release, put them into practical application or let them go if I see they don’t stand “on paper”.
  • I would get annoyed with my other activities that would now take over the space of self-writing, especially my work – programming – as it would suddenly seem as too much and that it is all that I am doing – thus the annoyance with it.
  • As a result of all of the above, I would find myself much more often in a state of slight or greater depression, frustration, annoyance and generally not being satisfied with my life.

So what’s the lesson to be learned here? Stick to your guns: In this case, if you have already established and saw the practical benefits and effect of self-writing – you really have no option than to continue with it, get better at it, master it – as it is now part of you, a great gift that is not wise to reject within oneself.

Further reading and study:

  • The free Desteni I Process Lite course includes material and support on the Resistance to Writing close to the beginning.
  • Dan’s post where he shared some points of resistance/justifications in relation to not writing publicly as well as the solution of self-forgiveness.


Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Mind Consciousness Systems, Process, Self-movement | 1 Comment

Day 16: Writing as an Expression of Care, Gentleness, Support and Giving to Others as You Would Like to Receive

1.1-stop-carrying-the-pastHere I am sharing how writing has grown for me and within me into a certain specific expression, over time, over periods of doing it, then stopping for a long time, then picking it up again and through realizing a point of an empty space within and as me, that I have created through inconsistency within this point of self-supportive writing.

I’ll first describe a general timeline and outline of how self-supportive writing developed for me, how I utilized it, what I saw within it, what it opened up within me and my latest realizations within what writing means to me and what I do express through it at the moment.

First period of consistency

The first time I saw I applied myself within long term, consistent writing was around the time when I came to the Desteni farm. Many people here have already been writing consistently for a long time and I followed their writing feverishly as it was something extraordinary, something I have never seen before: raw, direct, always carrying something I could see within myself within greater clarity and detail after reading somebody else’s experiences within the same or similar point.

It was clear to me that to expand within my own process of self-realization and self-awareness I can’t only read somebody else’s words. I actually have to start “writing myself out” – create my own “material” – for myself and for others, to see and benefit from.

The beginnings are often difficult and so it is with self-supportive writing. Initially my writing was slow. I had to pull out every word and sentence, slowly, out of myself. Sometimes I would “go astray” or diverge from the focus of what it is I wanted to write about and I would see that and I would have to start again. As self-supportive writing is not just putting anything that comes out of my mind out there, on the paper or computer screen. It is a specific tool, a specific application, that in fact comes with great responsibility to myself and to others that read what I write. Thus this writing has to be approached with utmost attention, care, self-intimacy and seriousness.

Why such a specific approach?

Writing is a process of creation

What I create – stays with me. Thus I do not want to create things I can not live with as myself, things that would compromise me or somebody else. I want to create a clear path – a way – for myself and for others – of self-realization, self-forgiveness and practical, common sense applications, explained in the greatest simplicity I am capable of at the very moment of writing.

The effects of consistent, public self-writing

I observed the following within the period of time (around 12 months) where I applied consistent, public, self-writing:

  • My mind stabilized extensively – from the perspective of experiencing much less distraction, internal busyness, preoccupation with thoughts and internal reactions.
  • Deep feeling of satisfaction of getting out and opening up in detail many ideas, problems, solutions or processes that would otherwise play out only within my mind, incoherently and without an outlet or a way to fully and properly express, understand and release them.
  • I was able to establish and develop an intimate relationship – an agreement – with another person, that stands to this day, thanks to me being able to stabilize myself and understand myself as the point of emotions and feelings in relation to wanting a relationship and how to go about it with this person was extensive and difficult. Would I be able to effectively walk through this without the support of my self-writing? No.
  • I heard from other people that read my posts that they saw many points that they can relate to within what I wrote about myself and thus they were able to better understand themselves as well as use what I do as a point of inspiration.

And then I stopped writing…

…which allowed me to see the distinct difference of before/after and with/without in relation to consistent self-writing. On this I’ll write in my next post. Stay tuned.

Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Desteni I Process, Process, Self-movement | 1 Comment

Day 15: Working with Your Body as a Feedback-Response Mechanism

Let’s open up the gift of utilizing your body to understand and drill into what it is that you’re experiencing, going through within your life: that which is bothering you as well as that which gives you excitement, and any other internal experiences for that matter.

You’ve got it – use it

Your physical human body is one of the things that you’ll keep with yourself for the whole duration of your lifetime. Besides allowing you to move around, learn new skills, utilize food to grow an sustain yourself – besides all of these things – it is the home of you and your mind or more specifically written: you as the mind.

This mind of yours is constantly giving you “stuff” to look at, it constantly “entertains” you and it is keeping you internally “busy” at all times, except perhaps when asleep (but that is a topic for another discussion). Besides the thoughts as words and pictures floating within your consciousness of which you’re aware of, the mind can and does manifest itself, it’s patterns, it’s consequences and the totality of who you are – it manifests this within your body. Of these manifestations, that is experienced here and there – sometimes more often sometimes less often – are various internal bodily sensations.

The bodily sensations

You have to be reasonably aware of yourself and your body to actually pick up a notice various internal reactions as bodily sensations that are happening within your body. For example:

  • Do you sometimes have “butterflies in your stomach”?
  • Do you sometimes notice a ball of energy, or a constriction, or just a tingling within your belly and/or your solar plexus?
  • A headache that suddenly came with no apparent physical reason.
  • Uneasy stomach, feeling like you do not want to eat much even though you’re hungry and ready for a proper meal.
  • Perspiration with the smell and aroma that you can suddenly pick up on yourself which smell is somewhat different to your normal sweat?

Can you pick up on any of these? Do you notice any of these?


…as the awareness of what you’re experiencing within and as your body is the stepping stone and a prerequisite to understanding yourself, your mind, who you in fact are in the totality of your being.

How I am working with my body lately

The following process manifested for me only quite recently. I got a better hang on it only after knowing about this “technique” as a point of knowledge and information for a few years now.

When and as I pick up a sudden discomfort, a pain, a “constriction”, an energy experience, a headache, “butterflies in my stomach” and/or any other sudden bodily sensations that is clearly distinguishable from the rest of the normal body functioning – I stop within myself.

I freeze myself in the “space and time” and give myself a moment to work with, open up, visualize and give words to this experience that is coming up within me. I do this because I have found that if I do not do this, if I do not push myself to understand and realize what I am experiencing within my physical body and where it came from and what does it mean to me and who I am and what I do – if I ignore this then the bodily sensations, usually one of the uncomfortable ones – persists and intensifies. And who wants to walk around and live in discomfort?

Within the point of giving or finding a meaning for yourself within what it is that you’re experiencing, through finding the words within yourself to describe this experience and/or visualize this experience it is absolutely necessary to first walk the process of self-writing and self-forgiveness. Within that you will learn the basics of self-honesty which is your guard, so to say, within the process of defining the energetic experiences within your human physical body as bodily sensations of movements of energy, pain, discomfort.

So if you’re new to this – this blog, the theme of this writing – first investigate self-writing and self-forgiveness. Once you comfortable with the application of these two, you can start playing with identifying the reactions within your body on the stop. Some of the points you’ll be able to clear up to a release – release here means a physical confirmation that you have actually found the relevant point for yourself within what you’re experiencing as yourself and that you have taken directive self-responsibility for this point.

Taking directive self-responsibility for a point can mean multiple things, depending on the nature of the point, it’s intensity and extensiveness:

  • Open up the point further within writing, doing a mind-construct on the point and applying self-forgiveness within writing.
  • Make a decision on what you need to do within your physical reality in terms of what it is that you practically need to change or where to apply yourself so that you address the point that you’ve just revealed and realized within yourself.
  • Make a change within yourself in terms of how you approach certain situations or reactions within your world and reality.
  • And more – there is much more that you will discover for yourself as yourself as each one’s process is individual and each specific solution one will find and live for oneself is unique from that perspective, while at the same time within each solution there will be a pattern that can be shared with others, that will help them to realize and create their own unique personal solutions to themselves and their reality. Just like this post, which is a generalization and extraction of events and realizations that I had and walked within my own life and described and shared them here within a more condensed and generalized way, so as to assist others.


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Day 14: Seeing and Reacting to Other’s Pain, Discomfort or Suffering

As I expanded my world and my participation within it, I came in contact with various people and within working together and sharing our time together, I have created relationships and connections to these people.

Within this post–or the series of posts that will follow–I’ll be looking at one specific aspect of a relationship with another person: the point and/or perception of care towards another person and the resulting reactions and mind interactions stemming from seeing or noticing this other person suffer or go through some hardship or struggle with something or someone. By “relationship” I am referring to the general point of getting to know someone on a deeper level and spending time with this person, “getting used to this person”, establishing deep, intimate and meaningful communication together and all around getting to know this person “very well” and as such creating a definite bond to and with another human being.

Let’s first identify some aspects of a relationship play-out where one notices the other having difficulty with something or someone:

  • Getting emotionally involved within someone else’s difficulty through reacting to the information that is presented or presents itself.
  • Wanting or trying to defend another from whatever is the perceived cause or origin of other’s suffering/discomfort/problem.
  • Judging and blaming oneself for not being able to effectively/immediately help another through removing another’s pain/problem/discomfort.
  • Judging and blaming something or someone else that is apparently the cause or origin of another’s pain/grievances/problem/discomfort.
  • Planing/scheming/projecting within an energetic reaction of blame and judgement on how to take on the problem that affects another that one “cares” about / has an emotional/feeling bond with and/or is in a relationship with.
  • Getting angry, agitated, revved up and/or energetically charged through observing another / listening to another sharing some problem or one’s difficulty with something or someone.

These points immediately open up the door for the application of self-forgiveness as they are the entrances and doorways to comprise of oneself and another, as all the above points are based on energetic reaction and the subsequent misunderstanding and misinterpreting of the problem.

The desire want and need to assist another is genuine and can be utilized. But it has to be approached within absolute stability and understanding of the problem at hand. This stability requires one’s self-honesty within assessing one’s own reactions to the “first encounter” with the problem – seeing or listening to another within difficulty. So if one identifies these energetic reactions emerging within oneself one has to apply self-supportive tools as follows:

  1. Immediately stabilise oneself through breathing, to open a window within oneself to stop the immediate thought tornado within oneself.
  2. Move one’s focus within one’s body and observe and take note of the experience within, whether there are any energies present or emerging within one’s body and/or it’s specific parts, manifested as movement, tingling, pain and discomfort or other bodily sensations that are normally not present within one’s body.
  3. Identify the source, the point behind, the reactions and experiences within one’s body.
  4. Apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements in relation to the point found lurking behind and causing the experience within one’s body.
  5. Live the realization(s) gained within the above process through applying oneself every day and re-applying this process every time one notices a reactions within one’s physical body emerging, forming and manifesting.

Within the next post, we’ll look at the above point number 3.: How to work with the experiences within one’s body, how to identify them, assign/discover words and meaning they convey and how one can use one’s own body as a feedback-response mechanism.

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Day 13: Distrusting People Around You

Within this post I’ll explore another mind-pattern that comes up often within interaction, living and co-existing with people: Distrust towards others.

How is Distrust towards Others created?

For example–you had an experience where someone did not do something exactly as he promised to do it. Within that you judged this person as someone who’s word is questionable. This can be a very small thing, like for example omitting something within ones house duties that are arranged with others that live with you.

This judgement was not released through self-forgiveness. Steps have not been applied within physical reality to resolve this point within what’s possible to establish with another and within the context and severity of the problem that came out. Instead what you left carrying after this event is a negatively charged past moment memory where another is to blame.

When something similar happens with the same person, or even a completely different person, you’ll immediately access/recall this past moment judgement and add onto it.

Within this you’re creating a network of thoughts and beliefs within your mind that contains and imprisons people around you into predetermined picture/image representations within and as your mind. Within this you’re creating an alternate reality and you will use this alternate reality to make assessments and decisions within the real physical reality. And since your starting point is coming from a make-belief world your results will be unexpected and consequential for you and others.

How does the make belief reality within your mind influence your interaction with the real world?

Your thoughts, beliefs and backchat about others create a lens through which you look at the outside (as well as inner) world. This lens though distorts what you see, so the starting point of your decisions and assessments about your world and others within it will be distorted as well. Thus it is important to stop the creation of these lenses–the make belief worlds where you create virtual reality representations of others within your world.

Self-forgiveness on Creating Alternate Mind Realities within and as Yourself where You Doubt and Distrust Others Based on Past Moment Memories

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to use past moment memories of someone not doing exactly what he said he will do, to create a mind web of thoughts, beliefs and backchat about and directed towards another or others, in which these beings are entangled and frozen in space and time and negative or positive energetic charge is assigned to each and every one of them, as well as attributes, like in a virtual reality game, so as to define them and imprison them so that one does not have to work with these being real-time, here in the physical reality, but rather defer to and yield to the comfort of one’s thoughts where one does not have to practically act and direct oneself and others within the physical reality one participates in and is responsible for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to distrust others and immediately invalidate what they’re saying, doing or suggesting towards me or towards others through accessing and relying on the perception of them through a lens created through categorizing and building thoughts, beliefs and backchat about and directed towards these beings within and as my mind during the course of interaction and physical participation with these beings as I experienced internal or external conflict in relation to these beings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to feel uncomfortable around others and blame others for this self-created internal experience as I am not really participating with other physical beings made of flesh and bone here with me but rather I am locked and imprisoned within my mind with the representations and mind virtual reality characters based on these real human beings I have created in order to avoid to really get to know these people or any other people as that requires time, patience, effort, social skills, skills of problem and conflict resolution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to fear others because I denied myself the opportunity to really get to know them and understand them on an intimate physical level within conversations and interactions with these beings and instead of looking at practical ways how I can move within this point I fled to my mind out of fear of this being too difficult, too overwhelming for me and as such compromise myself and others through living in denial of myself and others and who we really are and the potential we have that needs to be nurtured and cared for and expanded and lived into being so that we do not have to fear each other and self as we live in understanding of each other and self.

Posted in 7 Year Journey to Life, Agreements, Mind Consciousness Systems, Process, Reality, Self-forgiveness | Leave a comment